So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
