Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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