Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
God I need to hump something, right now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize