Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
