I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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