My friends, they love my intelligence
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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