i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
