She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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