Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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