wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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