He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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