I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
