I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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