Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you had me at cake vodka
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
