i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just invented taco cereal.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
