you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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