Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
