i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
