It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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