So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
