Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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