She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
