Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
