Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
