What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
