I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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