forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
