i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
