I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
