You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
