Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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