He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
