porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
