my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
