what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
