i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize