i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
