Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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