I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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