I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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