Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
