Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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