We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
