Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Sorry about my life...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
