If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
