was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
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Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
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I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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