dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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