Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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