whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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