you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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