So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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