well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
