Yo dont text me then not text me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize