3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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