o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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