Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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