is your mom at the bar?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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