your thong is hanging out like whoa
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
