Do you still have your period?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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