Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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