why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
