): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
