Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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